Godzilla King of Monsters: Why do Americans Keep Trying?

Full disclosure, I grew up on Godzilla movies and have a soft spot for this genre, but Why oh WHY do American’s think they can make these movies? They just keep screwing up! First the Matthew Broderick debacle! What the hell was that one about? Now this series, and while it has made over a billion dollars worldwide for the studios I can help but feel they SUCK!

First we had the 2014 Godzilla movie that did not contain Godzilla. It was so focused on the human story that it panned away from every fight Godzilla had, barely showing any action. We got plenty of shots of the damage the Kaiju caused, but what good is that. In fact the movie was so bad I completely forgot everything about it and had to re-watch it just to write this much about it. And I had seen it twice before!

Next is the series is Kong Skull Island from 2017. This was an OK movie with a really cool looking Kong, but the story line really failed. Huge plot holes and some drag in the middle, I could not watch this one a second time. Sorry guys I tried and got too bored, and this one has giant spiders!

Then we come to our feature Godzilla: King of Monsters. While this movie definitely has more Godzilla (YEAH), it also has more of everything being two hours and two minutes long. I actually checked my phone a few times during the movie because it is too damn long. Learn to edit people! There was a lot that could have been cut. The Kaiju are now environmental warriors, this is Eco-terroism at its finest, what a crock! Sorry if I”m spoiling anything but this script was utter shit! I can’t begin to point out the holes or ridiculousness because it was garbage! While there may have been moments I enjoyed, Yes Ken Watanabe was great, Millie Bobby Brown did a fantastic job and is rising star. For a child actress she brought emotional depth to her scenes as she struggles with what her parents have done and the consequences of their actions. But it just wasn’t enough to make me care about everyone for the whole movie. I am a big baby and cry at most things I watch, I never shed a tear because I could not become emotional involved in a movie that never got me to give a damn.

I liked the monsters fighting and I loved Mothra, I have always loved him and seeing him fight was great, but the family crap got old fast and the twist there were too predictable. Every “twist” I had written down in my notes way before they happened, not a single surprise. Its one thing to make a two hour movie, it’s another thing to make one that feels like a two hour movie. Wait for this one to come out on a streaming platform so you can pause it. And then you can watch it just before, wait for it, Godzilla vs. King Kong the final installment in this four part series! If you want a better Godzilla movie watch

Godzilla King of Monsters (US Release Date 5/31/2019)
Director: Michael Dougherty
Writer: Michael Dougherty, Zach Shields
Cast: Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Ven Watanabe, Ziyi Zhang, Bradley Whitford, Aish Hinds, O’Shea Jackson Jr.
Cinematography – Lawrence Sher
Production Company – Legendary Pictures
Preview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B12REtkl2KY

Brigthburn: Nature vs Nurture – what if Superman were bad?

Biologically speaking life is driven by the acquisition of resources with the least expenditure of energy and passing our DNA on to the next generation. We see this the most in parasitic creatures. They use others to do the work for them, even having other creatures parent for them while expending zero energy to get the resources their young will need to survive. It is a fantastic if harsh system for them if you are simply looking at the numbers. Cow birds sneak their eggs into the nest of other birds. Then their young are fostered, usually at the expense of their own children. This is because they usually hatch first and grow larger faster demanding more food and time earlier than the foster birds own children. Sucks, but at least mom didn’t out right kill anyone right.

Then there is the of world of the parasitic wasp. One parasitic wasp , H. argyraphaga, lays its eggs in a spiders abdomen where it will have lots to eat when it hatches. But not before controlling the spider from inside and forcing it to build a web of protection from the torrential monsoon rains it will sleep trough during its metamorphosis. When done with the web, the larva finish its meal, chucks out the spiders husk and spins its own pupa. Thanks mom!

Some parasitoids go inside ant nest and attach their eggs to the ant larva. Then they chemically disguise their eggs so they are accepted as ants. Even when it becomes an adult wasp the ants still treat it as an ant, feeding and grooming it until the chemical wears off and the adult leaves the nest to mate. Talk about lazy deadbeat.

Oh but It gets worse, There are even hyperparasitoids that parasitize the parasitic wasp! One wasp tracks the chemicals emitted by caterpillars infected by wasp larva and then lay their eggs on the larva already eating the caterpillar. These parasites are not the heroes however. They simply eat the existing parasites and leave then eat their way out of the caterpillar, emerging covered in viscera in their full adult glory! You see it is not just in their nature to kill, it is in their nature to take everything they need to survive and then destroy what raise them. Their life cycle cannot be completed with out the death of what raised them. It is with this glorious knowledge in mind that I watched Brightburn last night. (Yes I Studied bugs in college and I am complete nerd).

What does all this have to do with a superhero/horror movie you ask? Well slight spoilers follow:

The writers of Bright burn asked the question what if Superman was not a beneficial relationship with humanity (a symbiote) but instead a parasite? What if he did not start out with his powers, but instead was bullied in school? What if instead of getting advice from loving alien parents, his pod whispered dark thoughts? What if superman was a 12 year old kid? we’d be totally fucked right, or would loving foster parents be enough to save us in the end? The only hint we get to Brandon’s actual origin is a scene in school where the kids are asked about the difference between bees and wasp. Brandon offers that bees are pollinators and wasp are predators. Some are even parasites. This and some strange chanting are the only insights into what may be driving Brandon’s behavior. Is this nature, because nurture was very normal.

I loved the details put into the costuming, Brigthburn (he is called this because this is the town in which he first emerges) does not have a perfect costume like superman, but instead has manipulated his own blanket. What I like about it is the insect like face. It elongated his head and over time, because it was knit, stretched so the eye holes became rounder (like a bugs or wasp) and the shoe lace mouth he used to sew the front becomes very mandible like completing the look. They also furthered his otherworldlyness by altering Superman’s smooth flying movements and speeding up the framework. This made him harder to follow, he seemed to zip around and jerk from place to place much like and insect. They also added insect sounds to the foley work adding to his alien nature. All in all Brightburn is creepy as fuck

There is gore to his kills leaving no doubt that he is no superhero. Jackson A. Dunn does a fantastic job flipping from a smiling sweet young child to a disturbed boy with a major superiority complex. His coldness borders on the spectrum and I loved it. Matt L. Jones confrontation scene with Brandon was hands down my favorite in the whole movie, just the right amount of humor. David Denman did an amazing job playing a conflicted father with a horrible discussion to make and I felt awful for Jenifer Holland. Script choices aside, I believed her performance. I felt there could have been some tweaks to make the script better, but overall my audience was pleased. A few people even cheered and guffawed out right at the end. This movie balanced out the horror well with some great comedic moments and the general audience will have fun. Billy Eilish comes in strong at the end with “Bad Guy” giving the movie the perfect send off. Overall director David Yarovesky did an excellent job and I would go see this in the theater.

Brightburn (US release Date 5/23/2019)
Director: David Yarovesky
Writers Brian Gunn, Mark Gunn
Starring:Jacks A Dunn, Jennifer Holland, David Denmar, Matt A Jones, Meredith Hagner, Becky Wahlstrom, Gergory Alan Williams
Distribution Company: Sony Pictures
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0391pRUFIY